Where have I been?

    I have been hiding under a fabulous rock.  One that comforts my dark and weary soul. I'm joking I've been working, procrastinating  and hiding from God. My summer was well-wasted to say the least. Or rather I think God was bringing issues that have been deeply rooted within my soul for years. Like that song Cash sings, "Sooner or later God is gonna knock you down." And boy was I knocked down. I tried to find answers from ways other than God. I worked out. I listened to angry music. Read inspirational stories- all of which lacked the Holy Spirit. Don't get me wrong, God likes exercise and all but if your motive is not pure it won't really work out. I also been asking a lot of existential questions- I guess that something a lot of people who are my age do. Although I am Christian and shouldn't be all melodramatic,  I was. Everything became routine- going to church, paying bills and working. At the mix of all it - I was utterly disappointed. Reaching out to people lost its zeal (although you should reach out irrespective of how you feel). Then I adopted the stoic belief that everything was meaningless. As a result, people noticed I had a lack of aptitude for life. I started going to classes sporadically and when I did go I would surf the web. I would isolate myself because in my opinion I didn't want to spend time with people who were a waste of my time. It took a while, but I realized what seemed like apathy was masked anger, confusion,  and frustration. 
     When you are in such a circumstance, you should humble yourself and seek God. I did. Often, the devil wants us to leave in anger and belief. Truthfully, if I did not deal with these things I'd be hell-bound so I'm grateful God got me when I did. It's a process but I'm thankful that God is helping me every step of the way. More importantly, tbe devil wants us to be in a lull when its the end of times. It's time we stop playing games with God. He does not want us wavering or lukewarm. He wants us to be hot. For if we are anything less- he will be spit us out. The meek shall inherit the kingdom. I had things I had to deal with. I had things to remove from my life. Because he wants us without spot,wrinkle and blemish. In order to do this, we need to be totally consecrated to God. Not dilute our love with the things of the world. We need to seek God- for He is the only thing that matters. And we need to wake up and go to sleep knowing that if we'd die- we'd be at peace with Yeshua. It grieves me to see how myself and others think we can play a game. How we let petty things interfere with God. Does it need to take losing everything to gain our true salvation? That is why I'm sorta excited about the economy failing and such because then God can truly reigns in our lives, because unfortunately that's what some of us need- the whole world shaking to turn back to God.